The great outdoors offer so many fun, recreational activities. Will we go camping today? Or maybe play a ball game? Nah. It's the perfect weather for tormenting our pig, London River.
We're really not that mean. We do London all kinds of favors. For instance, after letting the pig wallow in the mud for a bit, we do her the favor of hanging her out to dry. It's an intense crucifixion, but we even put the cross in the shade for her. After all, she was complaining of the heat when we were inside, and we wouldn't want her getting too warm before the grand finale.
Nothing goes along with a summer party quite so well as a pig roast. We get this vile swine loaded up on our customized spit and start her rotating over an open flame. If she thought it was as hot as hell inside of the barn, she's really regretting coming out for some fresh air now. The cross and the mud pit both seem so inviting now that she is trapped in metal bondage, just a few inches above an open flame.
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